I'm back and all in one go - technological world I have arrived, or maybe arriving on  a very slow train. Isn't it the nicest thing when the most perplexing thing on one's mind is what to call the spider that inhabits the downstairs loo. He/she lives just inside the door in what I would like to call the wainscotting as I like that word and it resonates with the Borrowers and little worlds that we can't reach. So when discussing it with G and Ims last night - how come both of them were on one chat line ??? - they said to put it out on the blog. So, here it is folk.

Small, black, slightly timid spider nips out occasionally but scuttles when the light goes on or the door knocks his hidey hole. Actually, when I go in there I leave the door open and have to kick it back open every 30 seconds or so to keep the place lit. It would be easier to go in shut the door and put light on, but I digress. Actually, sometimes the door does stay open and I can't reach it when mid wee there's a knock on the door and someone walks in and I have to be VERY QUIET on my throne!!  So, when you're settled on the loo, this has got to be  a girl thing really what with chaps standing up and facing the other way - except, but we won't explore that avenue - he'll pop out again and potter about his web which to be honest is growing quite large but of course I can't brush it away. So we have become quite good friends except that he probably doesn't  know that. Ian hears me chatting away with him - he says nothing, Ian that is and I suppose the spider too isn't terribly reciprocative either. So, friends - a name ? I wonder how long he'll live and whether there is a spouse and little ones on the way - you'll have to watch this space. I'll see if I can get a photo of him for you.

Well himself, the husband, has sniffed the air and seen the sunsine, donned his tight lycra and funny hat and thrown himself onto the unsuspecting Blackpoolians, having a gentle, minding their own minds sort of meander along the prom. He gets entwitched (!!) if he doesn't get out on that bike regularly. He was PLOTTING with his nephew Robert on Sunday some sort of 'jolly' which involved Bucharest ( Budapest?) and cycling along the Rhine to Vienna. It's his dream. Don't let Jono see this. Apparently you can take bikes on planes, well I suppose if you can take racehorses, elephants and pandas, bikes are nothing.

I suppose I wish we did things like other old people do which is to take a ride out in the car, stop at some tea room or antique fair and potter about. He's certainly got the driving style. But then I am nervous around cakes as they shout EAT ME and I do; dead easy it is. We're both not keen on shops and that's because he's indocrinated me with retail loathing by going a funny colour and coming over all unnecesssary in shops. He accuses me of making him have frontal lobe surgery when we married so that he had no mind of his own - what a con trick, never does what he likes etc, you've heard it folks, so you know what I reckon it was the other way around. So, instead of me being out and about doing normal geriatric things I have instead to write a blog - which to be fair is quite good fun; for me that is, not for you haha, it's not exercise though is it. I think a rumaba, cha cha cha and tango will be on the cards when the exhausted one returns !!

Mind you, I'm reading the Caitlin Moran HTBAW book and the chap beside me in bed is getting some pretty nasty looks. I've only reached the 'breasts' chapter but feel incensed already about the wimping out of feminism. I agree, let's do it with humour. Bit worrying all the porn stuff and children getting their misguided sex education from the i/net. Interesting to read that you daughters of mine remember my disapproval of Grease on moral grounds. God, the things you remember. I'm scared. Come on it was really wasn't all that bad - she lies to herself. It was. Public apology. Yipes !!

It's gorgeous out there and I have to wait in for the locksmith - I wanna go out and hunt down a haggis or do you think we'll forget about adopting Scotttish traditions now because they are being so unfriendly and don't want to play with us anymore ??

Well, you've probably heard enough from Mrs Banal of PLF. I'll sign off and go read some more CM and get a good seethe going for when himself returns!! Ciao for now.